CHECKLIST # 1: ENERGY!

I got up at 3:30 AM this morning, disturbed by a recurring dream of two significant people who recently figured in the most traumatic, roller-coaster experience of mi vida loca. It was not nightmarish, just some scenes from the past when everything was oh-so-fine and when I can still define what real friendship is in the deepest sense of the word.

At that same time our ever-faithful, zany kasambahay, whom li’l Zoe fondly calls Ate Joy (or Charina, or Cha) was already up and about, preparing breakfast for my bro-in-law who had to leave at 4:30 AM. I thought, hmm, I might as well carry on my plan of losing these flabs and start brisk-walking around the village. Ate Joy asked if she could go with me after bro-in-law leaves for work. (You see, she’s also on the heavy side) What a great idea! Heck, of course you can! I told her. So off we traipsed along the quiet roads of our village, not missing any street coz’ I wanna maximize my time and effort, all the while thinking how much calories I am going to burn for today. Ate Joy was in slippers, so I told her to borrow my mom’s rubber shoes for tomorrow’s session and the next J

It was therapeutic since I also used the time conversing with God as I jogged and walked and jogged and walked around the basketball court in our clubhouse. We ended the session by teaching Ate Joy some stretches and tae-bo moves I learned when I was still engaged in aerobics about eons ago. I have to admit, I had so much fun!

We went back home at around 6 AM and found Zoe already in the living room and waiting for her mom to leave for work. After which she led me to their room so that she could play with Pooh and her other tropang stuffed toys: Toto (Big Bird), Pikachu and Barney while I browsed over sis’ audio cd’s and played Chain of Fools by Aretha Franklin- my top favorite for dancing. I noticed that my three-year old niece Zoe was getting into the groove, flapping her arms and head-banging. Hahaha. Gawd. It was so hilarious! So I got up and danced frantically with her, moving around in circles like sillies. Gee. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything else. Hehehe.

What used to be a sore feeling that morning when I woke up was replaced by a revitalized energy and hope that the rest of my bum days would be something worth-waiting for. Thanks Ate Joy and my pumpkin Zoe gurl!

CHECKLIST # 1: ENERGY!

I got up at 3:30 AM this morning, disturbed by a recurring dream of two significant people who recently figured in the most traumatic, roller-coaster experience of mi vida loca. It was not nightmarish, just some scenes from the past when everything was oh-so-fine and when I can still define what real friendship is in the deepest sense of the word.

At that same time our ever-faithful, zany kasambahay, whom li’l Zoe fondly calls Ate Joy (or Charina, or Cha) was already up and about, preparing breakfast for my bro-in-law who had to leave at 4:30 AM. I thought, hmm, I might as well carry on my plan of losing these flabs and start brisk-walking around the village. Ate Joy asked if she could go with me after bro-in-law leaves for work. (You see, she’s also on the heavy side) What a great idea! Heck, of course you can! I told her. So off we traipsed along the quiet roads of our village, not missing any street coz’ I wanna maximize my time and effort, all the while thinking how much calories I am going to burn for today. Ate Joy was in slippers, so I told her to borrow my mom’s rubber shoes for tomorrow’s session and the next J

It was therapeutic since I also used the time conversing with God as I jogged and walked and jogged and walked around the basketball court in our clubhouse. We ended the session by teaching Ate Joy some stretches and tae-bo moves I learned when I was still engaged in aerobics about eons ago. I have to admit, I had so much fun!

We went back home at around 6 AM and found Zoe already in the living room and waiting for her mom to leave for work. After which she led me to their room so that she could play with Pooh and her other tropang stuffed toys: Toto (Big Bird), Pikachu and Barney while I browsed over sis’ audio cd’s and played Chain of Fools by Aretha Franklin- my top favorite for dancing. I noticed that my three-year old niece Zoe was getting into the groove, flapping her arms and head-banging. Hahaha. Gawd. It was so hilarious! So I got up and danced frantically with her, moving around in circles like sillies. Gee. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything else. Hehehe.

What used to be a sore feeling that morning when I woke up was replaced by a revitalized energy and hope that the rest of my bum days would be something worth-waiting for. Thanks Ate Joy and my pumpkin Zoe gurl

ON MY OWN

“Try It On My Own”

I’m wiser now
I’m not the foolish girl you used to know
So long ago
I’m stronger now
I’ve learned from my mistakes which way to go
And I should know
I put myself aside to do it your way
But now I need to do it all alone

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don’t care if I’m right or wrong
I’ll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I’ll keep it real you know
Time for me to do it on my own
Yeah yeah, mmm, yeah yeah

It’s over now
I can’t go back to living through your eyes
Too many lies
And if you don’t know by now
I can’t go back to being someone else
Not anymore
I never had a chance to do things my way
So now it’s time for me to take control

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don’t care if I’m right or wrong
I’ll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I’m gonna keep it real you know
Time for me to do it

Oh I start again go back to one
I’m running things my way
Can’t stop me now, I’ve just begun
Don’t even think about it
There ain’t no way about it
I’m taking names, the ones of mine
Yes I’m gonna take my turn
It’s time for me to finally stand alone, stand alone

I am not afraid to try it on my own
And I don’t care if I’m right or wrong
I’ll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I’m gonna keep it real you know
It’s time for me to do it
See I’m not afraid

To do it on my own…

BIZAARE LOVE TRIANGLE: Anatomy of a Cheating Husband

I chanced upon this while I was trying to seek for answers as to why this unfortunate incident happened to me (or us). As of this writing though, I'd like to tell you that all's well with me and the other girl involved. Now that I have brought this out in the open, I just want to share with this article based from an episode in Oprah regarding CHEATING HUSBANDS.Read on and hope you learn something from it: When Your Husband Cheats with Your Best Friend It's every wife's worst nightmare. The ultimate betrayal—what would you do? When your husband cheats with your best friend From The Oprah Winfrey Show "When Your Husband Cheats with Your Best Friend" Chandra remembers the day she married David as a "beautiful" winter wedding, complete with the perfect dress, great friends and family. Years later, David and Chandra, parents to three young children, continue to surround themselves with trusted friends. Over the years, Chandra says one friend in particular became a big part of her life. "I felt like her big sister in a way," she says. "[David and I] went camping with her and her husband. … I trusted her." When Chandra's best friend moved away with her husband and baby, Chandra was heartbroken. Not long after the move, the friend and her baby came to visit David and Chandra. Upon their arrival, Chandra says something seemed off. "She almost seemed mad at me, like I was kind of in her way, and I was irritating to her," she says. Chandra also noticed that David was spending a lot of time alone with her friend. "In the back of my mind I thought, 'Okay, something's not right.' I just had a feeling … a gut feeling." Then came the bombshell. Chandra read her best friend's diary and discovered that she was having an affair with David. At first, Chandra's best friend and husband denied that their affair was physical. Then, Chandra learned the truth. David says he never had feelings for the other woman until she moved away. Then, he started chatting with her online and their relationship progressed from a friendship into something more. "I confided in her instead of my wife," David says. "It happened very quickly because we knew each other. It wasn't like I was meeting somebody off the street. [She and her husband] were our best friends, and I knew what she was like." The emotional affair became physical just three days after Chandra's best friend and her baby arrived for a visit, David says. David says he slept with Chandra's friend multiple times during her visit—once in a car and once in their home…while his wife was upstairs. "I could have bet a million dollars [that] this would have never happened to me," Chandra says. "Let alone with a close friend." After nine years of marriage, David says he strayed because he felt boxed in and didn't feel like he was heard in his marriage. While Chandra tried controlling him, David says the other woman made him feel good about himself, helped his self-esteem and told him the things that he wanted to hear. Now, David realizes he's "a very selfish person" and wants more discipline in his life. "I do want to be controlled because I'm not in control of myself," he says. "It's about pride for me. I've got a pride issue that I've got to deal with." Since the affair, David has also had trouble reconciling his actions with his beliefs. "This has been a real moral bomb in my life. I'm a church-going, Bible-believing person, you know? Morally it hurts me. I said to my wife last night it feels like cancer." Psychologist Dr. Robin Smith says pride isn't David's problem…it's anger. "Affairs are often full of rage and hostility," Dr. Robin says. "They are a way that people communicate, without saying a word." Instead of looking back through his marriage for the root of his problems, Dr. Robin tells David to think back even further. "All of us get wounded in childhood. You did not create this kind of self-destruction in your life, in your wife's life, in the lives of your children without a wound starting in childhood," she says. "Who pulled the rug from underneath you? That's what you've done to your family, and we learn that behavior somewhere. … Someone teaches us how to be mean." "I love my father, but my father … he doesn't listen to my mom," David says. "He doesn't respect her. He doesn't listen to anybody." Dr. Robin says David's childhood pain is the real cancer in his life. David's tearful admission is the beginning of his healing, she says. "The fact that you just spoke that truth, now you're on your way to freedom." David says he has not been in contact with Chandra's friend since their affair was exposed. "I have no desire to ever talk to that woman again," he says. "I do love my wife. I do know it's about me and my problems." Dr. Robin says David also needs to learn to love himself so that he doesn't fall victim to the "fantasy" of an affair again. "[An affair is] an illusion. It's not real. She's not real. Whatever she told you about yourself is not real," she says. "Your low self-esteem must be healed from the inside out, and your wife can be a partner in helping you heal, but she can't heal you." Chandra says her marriage is still on shaky ground, but she and David are trying to make it work. "There's a lot of hurt there, and there's a lot of betrayal," she says. "We're working on it. But, you know what? I want to see him be who I know he can be."

FINDING OUT THE HARD WAY

A year ago I had a blog entry here about a boyfriend who has a girl bestfriend and they were so close the bf's girlfriend started to doubt their closeness. Turns out that the gf's suspicions were true. You can just imagine how the girlfriend's world crumbled down to find out she was actually the last one to know. And so I dedicated this to her..for him...and vice versa...

Finding Out The Hard Way - Cynthia Rhodes

I can't take all the blame, now can I
It takes more than one to lose such a fine line
That lies between, that holds together
I'll turn the night to turn the tide, oh! ...

Chorus:
And I'm, findin' out the hard way
It's gonna take some tears
A little bit of heartache
We're like islands in the stream
Watchin' all our dreams start to fade
Fadin' away ...

A moment gone is gone forever
It's like water through your hands
And you go spin the wheel of misfortune
Watchin' in turn, with livin' you learn
And oh!
(Repeat chorus)

Bridge:
I keep reachin' out
I've come up empty handed
And then I let you down
But then I leave you stranded
(Repeat chorus)
Adlib:

And I'm, findin' out the hard way
It's gonna take some tears
A little bit of heartache
We're like islands in the stream
Watchin' all our dreams
Start to fade, fade away ...
(Repeat chorus)

Start to fade, fade away
Start to fade, fade away